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by Sarah
Welcome to The XX游戏副本, where I talk with scientists and top-performing women to give you insights that you can use in everyday life. This is not another health podcast telling women to optimize endlessly or chase extreme longevity. It’s a science+life podcast for women who want to feel better now—not just live longer later.
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- 1 weeks ago1h 1m
Why You Assume the Worst About the People You Love | Dr. Yael Schonbrun
Why do we feel so misunderstood, even by the people closest to us? Clinical psychologist Dr. Yael Schonbrun says it’s because we’re trying to fix misunderstanding with the wrong tool. Communication happens between people, but understanding happens inside them. It’s shaped by overconfidence, mood, hunger, history and the stories we tell about each other.Most of us are certain we understand other people, and just as certain they don’t understand us. That math doesn’t work out. Our brains are built to feel sure of what we perceive, and even Nobel Prize - winning psychologist Danny Kahneman wrote that he still falls for cognitive bias. Talking more won’t change that on its own. Awareness, curiosity and a little more generosity can.In this episode of The XX Lab, Dr. Sarah Hill sits down with Dr. Yael Schonbrun, a clinical psychologist at Brown University and author of Why Don’t You Understand Me?, to explore what drives understanding and misunderstanding beneath the words. They cover why overconfidence is the bias that rules all others, how naive realism makes our own view feel like the truth, why we cast people as villains, how keeping score wears down relationships, why understanding someone isn’t agreeing with them, and what to ask when the same fight keeps coming back.KEY TAKEAWAYS:Misunderstanding usually starts inside us, in how we interpret what others say and do, not in the words themselvesOverconfidence is “the bias that rules all others”: feeling certain about what someone meant isn’t the same as knowingWe notice what we give more than what we receive, so being a little more generous than feels fair keeps relationships in a positive cycle, without becoming a doormatIn a recurring fight, ask: “What do you think I’m missing?”Guest Bio Dr. Yael Schonbrun is a clinical psychologist at Brown University with more than 20 years of clinical experience, specializing in the treatment of couples and relationships. She writes for media outlets including The Washington Post and is the author of Why Don't You Understand Me?, which looks at the processes inside people that drive understanding and misunderstanding. Connect with Dr. Yael SchonbrunWebsite: https://www.yaelschonbrun.comTimestamps Introduction Overconfidence Is the Bias That Rules All Others When Should You Stop and Get Curious? The Villain-Victim Story We Tell Ourselves Strategic Generosity: Stop Assuming the Worst Why It's So Hard to Stop Seeing Someone as the Villain Understanding Someone Isn't Agreeing With Them What to Ask When You Keep Having the Same Fight The XX Lab is where midlife women come to understand the science of their own biology: hormones, brain chemistry, behavior, and the research that finally makes sense of how you feel. Dr. Sarah Hill breaks down the evidence with rigor and warmth, so you can make decisions rooted in real science, not guesswork.For more research-backed insight on your hormones, brain, and behavior, find Dr. Sarah Hill here:-Website: https://www.sarahehill.com -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahehillphd -LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahehillphd
- 2 weeks ago1h 0m
Too Young for Perimenopause? The Early Signs Most Women Miss | Dr. Mariza Snyder #23
What if the reason you don't feel like yourself isn't stress or burnout, but a hormonal transition that started years before your cycle ever changed? For many women, early perimenopause begins in the late 30s or early 40s with brain fog, poor sleep, and mood changes, while periods and labs still look completely normal.In this episode of The XX Lab, I sit down with Dr. Mariza Snyder, women's hormone expert, host of the Energized podcast, and author of The Perimenopause Revolution. We explore early perimenopause symptoms, why midlife weight gain comes down to insulin resistance and not willpower, how to use a continuous glucose monitor, the simple daily habits that move the needle, and how this transition can become an awakening rather than a loss of self.Key Takeaways: -Early perimenopause symptoms can start in your late 30s, even with regular periods.- Perimenopause weight gain is driven by insulin resistance, not willpower.- A short walk after meals helps lower blood sugar spikes.- Perimenopause is a window to protect your bone, heart, and brain health.Timestamps: Dr. Mariza Snyder on The Perimenopause Revolution What Is Perimenopause? Early vs. Late Perimenopause Explained Early Perimenopause Brain Fog With Normal Periods and Labs Perimenopause and Identity: Feeling Like You've Lost Yourself A Mother's Perimenopause Story: From Burnout to Marathons Early Perimenopause Signs and How to Track Your Symptoms Perimenopause Weight Gain: Estrogen, Insulin Resistance, and Belly Fat How to Use a Continuous Glucose Monitor (CGM) in Perimenopause How to Lower Blood Sugar Spikes: Post-Meal Walks and Exercise Snacks Perimenopause Morning Routine for Energy, Sleep, and Blood Sugar How to Find a Perimenopause Doctor and Which Tests to Ask For Best Perimenopause Lifestyle Changes: Sleep, Movement, and Friendship Is HRT Safe? Hormone Therapy, Testosterone, and Breast Cancer Risk Perimenopause Myths and What Really Changes After Menopause Guest BioDr. Mariza Snyder is a functional practitioner and women's hormone expert with more than 17 years of experience helping women navigate perimenopause and beyond. She holds a Doctor of Chiropractic degree, hosts the top-rated Energized with Dr. Mariza podcast, and is the bestselling author of several books, including The Perimenopause Revolution, which offers a five-week reset for hormones, metabolism, and energy.- https://drmariza.com/book- https://www.instagram.com/drmariza- https://www.amazon.com/dp/1401997406***The XX Lab is where midlife women come to understand the science of their own biology: hormones, brain chemistry, behavior, and the research that finally makes sense of how you feel. Dr. Sarah Hill breaks down the evidence with rigor and warmth, so you can make decisions rooted in real science, not guesswork. For more research-backed insight on your hormones, brain, and behavior, find Dr. Sarah Hill here:-Website: https://www.sarahehill.com-Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahehillphd-LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahehillphd
- 3 weeks ago50 min
Why Is It So Hard to Say No? The Psychology Behind People-Pleasing | Dr. Vanessa Bohns #22
What if saying yes when you mean no isn't a boundary problem, but a predictable feature of how your brain protects your place in the group? "No is a complete sentence" sounds simple, but the research says the moment of being asked is anything but.In this episode of The XX Lab, I sit down with Dr. Vanessa Bohns, social psychologist, Cornell professor of organizational behavior, and author of the new book Should I Say Something? We explore compliance vs consent, why we underestimate how often people say yes, the persuasion tactics salespeople use, how to say no to a boss or a date, and when it's worth speaking up.KEY TAKEAWAYS:Compliance is just behavior. Consent means you truly felt free to say no and understood what you were agreeing to.We consistently underestimate how likely others are to say yes to our requests, and how much pressure our asks put on them.Buying time with "let me think about it and get back to you" moves you out of the hot emotional moment and into a clearer decision.In social situations, we underestimate how much people like us, notice us, and want our honest feedback.Timestamps Introduction: Dr. Vanessa Bohns on Why Saying No Is So Hard Compliance vs Consent: What's the Difference? Why Women Say Yes When They Want to Say No Why We Underestimate How Often People Say Yes Persuasion Tactics: Reciprocity, Authority and Social Proof What Happens in Your Brain When Someone Asks You for a Favor What Genuine Consent Actually Requires How to Ask for a Favor Without Pressuring Someone How to Say No to Your Boss Without Looking Lazy How to Politely Turn Down a Date How to Buy Time Before You Say Yes Should I Say Something? When to Speak Up and When to Stay Quiet Why You Shouldn't Tell Your Boss You Love Your Job Why We Underestimate How Much People Like Us Guest Bio Dr. Vanessa Bohns is a social psychologist and the Braunstein Family Professor and Chair of Organizational Behavior at Cornell University's ILR School. She holds a PhD in psychology from Columbia University and an AB from Brown University. An expert on help-seeking, social influence, compliance, and consent, her research explores why it's so hard to ask for things and so hard to say no, and has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic, and on NPR's Hidden Brain. She is the author of You Have More Influence Than You Think and Should I Say Something?: The Science of What to Share and What to Keep to Yourself.-Website: https://www.vanessabohns.com -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/profbohns -Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0306835703The XX Lab is where midlife women come to understand the science of their own biology: hormones, brain chemistry, behavior, and the research that finally makes sense of how you feel. Dr. Sarah Hill breaks down the evidence with rigor and warmth, so you can make decisions rooted in real science, not guesswork. For more research-backed insight on your hormones, brain, and behavior, find Dr. Sarah Hill here: -Website: https://www.sarahehill.com
- Oct 5, 20261h 52m
The Hormone-ADHD Connection Women Aren’t Told About | Dr. Jolene Brighten #21
You've been told midlife brain fog is just stress. What if perimenopause is actually revealing a brain you've been masking your whole life?In this episode of The XX Lab, I sit down with Dr. Jolene Brighten, board-certified naturopathic endocrinologist and author of Beyond the Pill, to talk about her new book, ADHD and Women. We explore why perimenopause unmasks ADHD, how to tell it apart from brain fog, the birth control connection, and what actually supports the ADHD brain.Whether you're curious about ADHD in women, hormones and the brain, or the hidden side effects of hormonal birth control, I think you'll find this conversation to be a science-backed, deeply validating look at how hormones shape who we are at every life stage.KEY TAKEAWAYS:ADHD isn't a deficit of attention. It's difficult to regulate attention, and hormones influence how it shows up across a woman's life.The highest rates of new ADHD diagnoses are in middle-aged women, a group that was missed for decades, not a sign that ADHD is new.Perimenopause can cause ADHD-like symptoms in women who don't have ADHD. True ADHD has been present since childhood.Diet, sleep, and daily movement don't cause or cure ADHD, but they strongly influence how severely symptoms are expressed.Timestamps What Happened When She Questioned The Pill Birth Control Myths And The Hidden ADHD Risk Late ADHD And Autism Diagnosis: The Signs She Missed How Perimenopause Unmasks ADHD In Women What ADHD Actually Feels Like For Women Perimenopause Or ADHD? How To Tell The Difference Pharma Skepticism, Hormones And ADHD Stimulants Is ADHD Rising Or Just Diagnosed More? ADHD Meds For Kids, Creatine And Omega-3s Why She Regrets Starting The Pill At 17 PMDD Isn't Just Progesterone: Histamine And Inflammation Guest BioDr. Jolene Brighten is a board-certified naturopathic endocrinologist, certified menopause specialist, and nutrition scientist known for translating complex hormone science into practical care. She is the bestselling author of Beyond the Pill and Is This Normal?, and her new book, ADHD and Women, explores how hormones shape ADHD across a woman's life. She hosts The Dr. Brighten Show, a top-rated women's health podcast.Website: https://drbrighten.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/drjolenebrightenBook: https://www.amazon.com/dp/059398160X***The XX Lab is where midlife women come to understand the science of their own biology: hormones, brain chemistry, behavior, and the research that finally makes sense of how you feel. Dr. Sarah Hill breaks down the evidence with rigor and warmth, so you can make decisions rooted in real science, not guesswork. For more research-backed insight on your hormones, brain, and behavior, find Dr. Sarah Hill here:Website: https://www.sarahehill.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahehillphdLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahehillphd
- Sep 28, 20261h 30m
Your Relationships Are Affecting Your Health More Than You Think | Dr. Rich Slatcher
What if the strongest predictor of how long you live has nothing to do with your diet, your sleep, or the gym? I have spent my career studying hormones and behavior, and this one still stops me: the quality of your relationships predicts mortality at roughly double the effect of exercise.In this episode of The XX Lab, I sit down with Dr. Rich Slatcher, Gail M. Williamson Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of Georgia and director of the Close Relationships Lab. Rich and I were in the same graduate program at UT Austin, so this is part science, part reunion. We cover why social connection predicts mortality, how partner responsiveness shapes health, why men benefit more from marriage than women do, and what makes a first date work.Key Takeaways:- Social integration predicts mortality at roughly double the effect of exercise- Opening up only helps your health if the person listening actually responds- Men route nearly every emotional need through a spouse; women keep wider networks- Where you have a first date matters far less than how open the conversation getsTimestamps How Relationships Shape Health With Dr. Rich Slatcher Expressive Writing Can Boost Your Immune System Why Men Rarely Open Up To Friends From Anthropology To Evolutionary Psychology Strong Relationships Help You Live Longer Is The Cortisol Link To Health Overhyped? How Your Partner's Response Shapes Your Health Does Conflict Outweigh Support In Your Relationship? Marriage Helps Men's Health More Than Women's Are Couple Friends Worth The Risk? Conversation Beats Romantic Settings On First Dates 3 Signs Someone Is Really Listening To You Do Men Need Face To Face Friendships? Studies mentioned in this episode- House, Landis and Umberson (1988), Science: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3399889/- Holt-Lunstad meta-analysis: https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316- Slatcher and Selcuk, strength and strain model: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28367003/- Brand and Slatcher, first date study: https://doi.org/10.1525/collabra.140690- Brand and Slatcher, live events study: https://doi.org/10.1177/19485506251360041Guest BioDr. Rich Slatcher is the Gail M. Williamson Distinguished Professor of Psychology at the University of Georgia, where he directs the Close Relationships Lab. He earned his PhD at UT Austin with James Pennebaker and completed an NIMH postdoctoral fellowship in health psychology at UCLA. His research examines self-disclosure, partner responsiveness, and how close relationships shape physical health and wellbeing. Website: https://www.richslatcher.comX: https://twitter.com/RelationScienceGoogle Scholar: https://scholar.google.com/citations?hl=en&user=szN-Q9cAAAAJ
- Sep 21, 20261h 27m
What Women Should Know Before Taking Hormonal Birth Control | Dr. Nusa Faric #19
You've been told the pill is too small to change who you are. What if the science says otherwise, and you're not imagining it?For years, women who reported mood changes on the pill were told it was in their heads, and the research was called conflicting. A new meta-analysis suggests the pattern was there all along. We just weren't looking at the best studies.In this episode of The XX Lab, Dr. Sarah Hill sits down with Dr. Nusa Faric, a health psychology researcher whose meta-analysis pooled the highest-quality trials on hormonal contraception and depression risk. Together they explore why past reviews missed the signal, how synthetic progestins reshape a brain wired for cycling hormones, why adolescent users may be most vulnerable, the “sham period” myth, and what a better contraceptive future could look like.KEY TAKEAWAYS- Conflicting results on the pill and depression often reflect study quality, not a true absence of effect.- Filtering for high-quality trials with large samples and clean controls reveals a link that weaker studies obscure.- Non-oral methods like the hormonal IUD, shot, and patch tend to carry a worse mental health risk profile than the combined pill.- Adolescent users may face longer-lasting effects because the developing brain does not always return to baseline.- Younger women who use hormonal contraception in adolescence are more likely to remain on antidepressants later.- The pill flattens the natural hormonal cycle into a near-constant synthetic signal.- The monthly bleed on the pill is a “sham period,” not a true menstrual period.Timestamps00:00 The Pill and Depression: What Science Really Shows02:00 Being Disbelieved Sparked This Research05:00 How One Master's Review Became a Meta-Analysis09:30 What Is a Meta-Analysis, Explained Simply19:30 The "Sham Period" Myth on the Pill21:20 How Birth Control Rewires a Hormonal Brain24:00 Why Pill and Depression Studies Keep Conflicting44:40 Why Teens on the Pill Are Most Vulnerable54:50 Oral vs Non-Oral Birth Control Risk Compared01:04:30 Your Pill Side Effects Are Not Imagined01:33:00 What a Better Contraceptive Future Looks Like Guest BioDr. Nusa Faric holds a PhD in health psychology and informatics from University College London and is now a Research Fellow at the University of Edinburgh. Her work sits at the intersection of women's health, hormonal contraception, digital health, and mental health.Meta-analysis (European Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology and Reproductive Biology, 2026, open access): https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ejogrb.2026.115144University of Edinburgh research profile: https://www.research.ed.ac.uk/en/persons/nuša-farič-jeriha*** Go deeper with Dr. Sarah Hill's books, both science-backed guides to understanding your own biology:The Period Brain: the new science of why we PMS and PMDD, and how to feel your best all month long https://www.amazon.com/Period-Brain-Science-Manifesto-Women/dp/0063382474This Is Your Brain on Birth Control: how the pill shapes mood, attraction, and behavior in ways most women are never told https://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Brain-Birth-Control/dp/0525536035
- Sep 14, 20261h 55m
How Sex Hormones Shape the Male & Female Brain | Sarah E. Hill & David Puts | #18
You've been told the pill and the hormonal IUD act "locally," that they barely touch the rest of you. What if science says almost the opposite? Most of us treat hormones as background chemistry for periods and pregnancy, when they are really broadcast signals traveling everywhere blood goes, switching genes on and off in the brain, the muscles, and far beyond the reproductive organs.In this episode of The XX Lab, Dr. Sarah Hill sits down with Dr. David Puts, evolutionary anthropologist and neuroendocrinology researcher at Penn State, to explore what hormones actually are, how they shape the brain before birth, the myth of "locally acting" hormones, what the menstrual cycle does to attraction, and how the birth control pill nudges desire and partner choice.KEY TAKEAWAYS:- Hormones act by binding a receptor that regulates gene expression, changing what a cell makes.- A purely "locally acting" hormone does not hold up; if it reaches the bloodstream, it travels.- Most women on the hormonal IUD stop ovulating, evidence the hormone reaches systemic levels.- Sex hormones shape the brain, not only the reproductive organs, from before birth.- CAH and IHH serve as natural experiments for studying prenatal hormone effects on behavior.- The "masculine voices when fertile" preference is weaker and less consistent than popular science suggests.Timestamps00:00 Why Men And Women Are So Different08:43 What Hormones Actually Do In Your Body11:07 Is There Really A Locally Acting Hormone13:55 What Sex Hormones Do Besides Reproduction18:00 How Hormones Shape The Developing Brain33:55 CAH And IHH: Nature's Hormone Experiments40:09 What The Menstrual Cycle Does To Attraction49:45 How The Pill Changes Attraction And Libido57:32 How Low Estrogen Affects Attraction01:11:52 What Anogenital Distance Reveals About You01:19:13 Does Puberty Rewire The Brain01:25:25 Why Disease Hits Men And Women Differently01:33:10 Why We Choose Mates With Good Genes02:10:52 Why Honest Science Matters More Than HypeGuest BioExplore David Puts’ research, publications, and academic work: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/David-PutsGoogle Scholar: https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=fZ_ZqrMAAAAJ&hl=en***Take the science with you. Listen to The XX Lab wherever you get your podcasts:Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/033nA7tJ87p4TaT8C5t7MV?si=167a0d966568499eApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-xx-lab/id1896818171The Period Brain: the new science of why we PMS and PMDD, and how to feel your best all month long https://www.amazon.com/Period-Brain-Science-Manifesto-Women/dp/0063382474This Is Your Brain on Birth Control: how the pill shapes mood, attraction, and behavior in ways most women are never toldhttps://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Brain-Birth-Control/dp/0525536035
- Sep 7, 20261h 23m
WHOOP Scientist: The #1 Habit for Better Sleep, Recovery & Long-Term Health | Dr. Kristen Holmes #17
Your WHOOP recovery score dips, you slept fine, you did everything right, so why does the number look worse? What if that "bad" reading is your body working exactly as it should?In this episode of The XX Lab, Dr. Sarah Hill sits down with Dr. Kristen Holmes, Global Head of Human Performance and Principal Scientist at WHOOP, to explore what wearables really measure in women, resilience to hormonal change, sleep-wake regularity, mental health as the foundation of performance, and her new book, Aligned.Whether you are curious about what your wearable is telling you, navigating perimenopause, or rethinking how mental health, sleep, and recovery connect, this conversation offers a women-first lens on performance and resilience.KEY TAKEAWAYS:- A lower recovery score during your cycle is often normal biology, not a sign you did something wrong.- Women on hormonal birth control show fewer perturbations, and their data can resemble a man's.- Cardiovascular amplitude is a novel, patented marker of resilience that HRV and resting heart rate miss.- The resilience you build in your 20s and 30s shapes your perimenopause and menopause experience.- If your mental health is not right, top fitness and performance stop mattering very quickly.- Sleep-wake regularity predicts disease better than sleep duration and supports mental health too.Timestamps The Scientist Behind Your WHOOP Recovery Score From Elite Coaching to Human Performance Science Availability: The Metric That Predicts 86% of Success Leaving Princeton to Scale Recovery at WHOOP Why Your Cycle Changes Your Recovery Score Resilience to Hormonal Change and Amplitude Why Building Resilience Starts in Your 20s and 30s The New Book Aligned and Losing Her Mother Why Mental Health Is the Foundation of Performance Sex Differences in Sleep and the Light Diet The HEAL Framework and Sleep-Wake Regularity Guest BioDr. Kristen Holmes is the Global Head of Human Performance and Principal Scientist at WHOOP, where she has led research on recovery, sleep, and women's health since 2016. A two-sport All-American at Iowa and seven-year US National Field Hockey Team member, she was one of the most successful coaches in Ivy League history at Princeton, winning 12 league titles in 13 seasons. A psychophysiologist, her work focuses on how psychology, physiology, sleep, and recovery shape human performance. She is the author of Aligned.- Aligned (book): https://a.co/d/aligned- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kristen_holmes2126- WHOOP: https://www.whoop.com***📘 Go deeper with Dr. Sarah Hill's books, both science-backed guides to understanding your own biology:The Period Brain: the new science of why we PMS and PMDD, and how to feel your best all month long👉 https://www.amazon.com/Period-Brain-Science-Manifesto-Women/dp/0063382474This Is Your Brain on Birth Control: how the pill shapes mood, attraction, and behavior in ways most women are never told👉 https://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Brain-Birth-Control/dp/0525536035
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About The XX Lab
Welcome to The XX游戏副本, where I talk with scientists and top-performing women to give you insights that you can use in everyday life. This is not another health podcast telling women to optimize endlessly or chase extreme longevity. It’s a science+life podcast for women who want to feel better now—not just live longer later.
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