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Feminist Wellness: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Béa Victoria Albina
You weren't born anxious, depleted, and second-guessing yourself. You were taught to be. The Feminist Wellness podcast is where nervous system science meets the truth nobody wants to say out loud: most of what you think is "self-care" is just performing wellness while your body stays stuck in survival mode. Host Béa Victoria Albina - NP, life coach, and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner - breaks down the codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits that keep you trapped in what she calls Emotional Outsourcing™: constantly looking outside yourself for permission, validation, and proof that you're enough. This isn't another show about bubble baths and boundaries. It's about understanding why your body says yes when you mean no, why rest feels impossible, and how to stop treating your own needs like an inconvenience. If you're done white-knuckling your way through life, performing okayness while feeling like you're constantly failing some invisible test, this show will help you see what's actually happening - and what becomes possible when you stop abandoning yourself to please everyone else.
Latest Episodes
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- 1 weeks ago15 min
Tenderoni Hotline #50: You're Not Loving Them, You're Managing Them | Paperback Book Series
Tenderoni Hotline #50: Your value isn't in your productivity. That uncomfortable feeling when you stop moving, stop doing, stop managing everyone else's life? That's not laziness talking. It's the voice of a nervous system that learned early on that being needed equals being safe.Your actual people want you to rest. They want you to have needs, wants, preferences. They want to take care of you sometimes too. And all of this is exactly what I break down in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing.Order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/bookGot a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.comLearn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
- 1 weeks ago31 min
Ep #401: Take Me at My Word (Part 2): When Helping Becomes Pushing
#401: What happens when your good intentions leave someone you love feeling unheard? When you keep offering suggestions, asking if they're sure, or trying to convince them to change their mind, even after they've given you a clear answer? In this episode, I explore the role of the pusher and how emotional outsourcing can lead us to manage other people's choices because of our own discomfort, anxiety, or fear of not mattering. I look at why we sometimes mistake being useful for being loved, and how repeated attempts to help can erode trust and create distance in our relationships. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/401 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafetyNervous System Signals and Safety
- 2 weeks ago12 min
Tenderoni Hotline #49: How to Stop Shrinking Yourself for Others | Paperback Book Series
Tenderoni Hotline #49: This episode explores how childhood messages about being "too much" create lifelong patterns of self-shrinking that affect every area of your life. When you spend years making yourself smaller to fit other people's comfort levels, you lose track of where you end and their expectations begin.But what if I told you that's a lie? What if I told you that the right people are starving for your realness? What if I told you that your "too much" is actually someone else's "just right?" What if you're not too much at all? What if you've just been around people who are too small for your bigness?This is exactly why I wrote End Emotional Outsourcing, to help you stop apologizing for who you are and start celebrating your fullest self.Order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/bookGot a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
- 2 weeks ago40 min
Ep #400: Take Me at My Word (Part 1): How to Stop Second-Guessing When Others Question You
#400: Have you ever clearly said what you want, only to have someone question it, suggest something else, or act like they know your preferences better than you do? This week, I explore what happens when we are not taken at our word, especially in our closest relationships. We look at how having our desires, feelings, and internal experiences repeatedly questioned can slowly create self-doubt, disconnect us from ourselves, and reinforce emotional outsourcing patterns. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/400 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join Nervous System Signals and Safety!You understand your anxiety. You can name your triggers, trace them back, explain the whole thing. And your body still does what it does - the freeze, the brace, the exhaustion that has nothing to do with how much you slept. Working at the level where the pattern actually lives - your nervous system, your physiology - is what changes it. Signals & Safety is 12 weeks of somatic education and practice built from 20+ years of clinical training. You come out knowing why your body responds the way it does, and with the tools to meet yourself differently in the moments that used to undo you. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/signalsandsafetyNervous System Signals and Safety
- 3 weeks ago7 min
Tenderoni Hotline #48: Are You Performing? | Paperback Book Series
Tenderoni Hotline #48: There's this bone-deep fatigue that seeps into you when you've been performing yourself for everyone else instead of living your life for you.It's different from being tired after a busy day. It's the exhaustion that comes from constantly calculating what version of yourself the room needs.Meanwhile, real love doesn't require a costume. No tap dancing required for real, true, authentic, grounded, open-hearted love, love, love.That's what my book, End Emotional Outsourcing, is all about: helping you take off the mask and discover that this big, messy world needs the real you, not the performing you.Order the book now at https://beatrizalbina.com/bookGot a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.comLearn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
- 3 weeks ago20 min
Ep #399: If He Wants To, He’d Google: Stop Doing His Emotional Work For Him
#399: What happens when loving someone turns into managing their growth, their choices, and their willingness to change? This week, I’m exploring the way we can end up taking responsibility for someone else’s development, emotional state, and readiness while losing connection with our own needs. We’re talking about the emails I receive from women asking for resources for their husbands, boyfriends, or sons, and the deeper pattern underneath searching for the “right” book, therapist, or conversation that will finally make someone else change. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/399 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join The Shift today!You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshiftThe Shift
- 4 weeks ago7 min
Tenderoni Hotline #47: Are You Living For Everyone Else? | Paperback Book Series
Tenderoni Hotline #47: Ever have that moment where you realize you've been living your entire life for everyone else? You’re not alone, and you’re not broken. You’ve just been emotionally outsourcing.In this book series, I name the pattern, share why it develops, and explain how it shapes everything from your relationships to your sense of self. And I’ll tell you how my book, End Emotional Outsourcing, can help you start coming home to yourself - no longer orbiting everyone else’s needs, but finally living for you.Order the book now: beatrizalbina.com/book Learn more about my courses and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/courses Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en
- Oct 1, 202625 min
Ep #398: My Book Is Here in Paperback: Why I Wrote End Emotional Outsourcing
#398: What if the patterns you’ve been blaming yourself for were actually survival strategies you learned for a reason? This week, I’m celebrating the paperback release of my book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. I’m sharing why I wrote this book, the experiences that led me to create the framework of emotional outsourcing, and why I believe we need a new way to understand these patterns. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/398 Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing here: https://beatrizalbina.com/book/ Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=enMentioned in this episode:Join The Shift today!You cancel plans with yourself the moment someone else needs something. You say yes when everything in you means no. You have watched yourself do it and been genuinely bewildered. The Shift is 12 weeks of structured somatic practice built around the three needs at the root of every Emotional Outsourcing pattern: safety, worth, and belonging. The same foundational methodology as Anchored, structured entirely around your own life. Check it out here: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/theshiftThe Shift
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About Feminist Wellness
You weren't born anxious, depleted, and second-guessing yourself. You were taught to be. The Feminist Wellness podcast is where nervous system science meets the truth nobody wants to say out loud: most of what you think is "self-care" is just performing wellness while your body stays stuck in survival mode. Host Béa Victoria Albina - NP, life coach, and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner - breaks down the codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits that keep you trapped in what she calls Emotional Outsourcing™: constantly looking outside yourself for permission, validation, and proof that you're enough. This isn't another show about bubble baths and boundaries. It's about understanding why your body says yes when you mean no, why rest feels impossible, and how to stop treating your own needs like an inconvenience. If you're done white-knuckling your way through life, performing okayness while feeling like you're constantly failing some invisible test, this show will help you see what's actually happening - and what becomes possible when you stop abandoning yourself to please everyone else.
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