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Black Girl Burnout: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Kelley Bonner
Black Girl Burnout is a podcast hosted by Kelley Bonner dedicated to helping black women manage the stress of daily living and preventing the detrimental effects of burnout. Black women often feel overburdened and undervalued, and this podcast offers palpable solutions for this undeniable phenomenon. Bonner is a licensed therapist with over 15 years of experience helping people and organizations transform, evolve, and heal burnout. Each week, she dives deep on topics around burnout including career burnout, relationship burnout, and how racism and sexism contribute to the acceleration of burnout-in just 15 minutes! Bonners helps listeners develop the tools to combat and overcome burnout. During each episode, she guides listeners through bite-sized and manageable practices that provide immediate relief by leaning into their own intuition and becoming more engaged and connected with themselves and their surroundings.
Latest Episodes
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- Yesterday24 min
Opt Into Doing Your Best (replay)
Kelley gets personal about what it’s like when doing your best doesn’t look the way it used to. As the year winds down, she’s feeling energized by her goals and tired at the same time, and she’s learning that the soft lock-in is an ongoing practice, not a one-time declaration. She unpacks where Black women’s relentless standards of excellence come from, how to spot your own “too much” signals, and what it looks like to redefine your best as aligned instead of perfect.Key TakeawaysDoing your best doesn’t have to mean grinding. The soft lock-in is a practice you choose every day, not something you declare once and get perfect at.Much of what Black women learn as ambition is really conditioning. When excellence becomes the baseline, perfectionism leads to burnout, imbalance, and invisibility, because people stop seeing what it costs you.Learn your “too much” signals, physical, emotional, and behavioral, like exhaustion, doom scrolling, neck tension, quick anger, and skipping your routines. Once you know them, you can pause sooner.Your best can mean aligned instead of perfect. Good enough is your best, and your best is good enough. Rest is its own form of leadership.Episode Highlights & Timestamps05:00 Where the pressure comes from: immigrant families, first-generation expectations, and the need to represent07:00 How perfectionism leads to burnout, invisibility, and imbalance12:00 Know your signals: how to tell when you’re doing too much17:00 Redefining best as aligned: delegating, cushioning your routines, and choosing presence over productivityGentle InvitationThis week, ask yourself: where do I need to soften my expectations of myself? Write down your own “too much” signals, the physical, emotional, and behavioral signs that you’ve passed your capacity. Make the implicit explicit, and when you spot one, hit pause.Then redefine your best into something that honors your rhythms. Let me know how you’re doing it, Kelley wants to hear.Support the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout.Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout.Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review, your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops.Our SponsorsSavvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/
- 1 weeks ago25 min
The Humbling and Healing Art of Having Enough
As the year winds down, Kelley looks at her finances and finds a contradiction: she earned substantially less this year, yet she’s in a better place than the year she made more on paper. In this solo episode, she reflects on why “what is enough?” is a lifelong question, how she’s learning to build toward her floor instead of her ceiling, and why you can be serious about your future without being miserable in your present.Key Takeaways“What is enough?” is a lifelong question because the answer changes every year, financially, emotionally, mentally, and physically.Build toward your floor, not just your ceiling. Enough isn’t the bare minimum. It includes security, dignity, freedom, and pleasure, like a monthly facial or a Friday off.Earning less doesn’t mean you’ve learned, grown, or lived less. Conscious compromise, like paying down debt on a slower timeline in exchange for rest, isn’t financial carelessness.You can be serious about your future without being miserable in your present. A fixed joy budget and hobbies you never have to monetize make room for both.Episode Highlights & Timestamps05:00 Build to the floor, not the ceiling, and why enough isn’t the bare minimum12:00 Conscious compromise: carrying debt on a slower timeline in exchange for rest14:00 Three questions to help you find your floor17:00 The joy budget, and how to be serious about your future without being miserable in your presentGentle InvitationTake some time this week to journal on three questions: What do I actually need to feel financially and emotionally secure? Which of my goals are genuinely necessary, and which are expectations I’ve inherited or put on myself? What am I sacrificing to reach my current goals, and am I still willing to make that trade? Then choose one activity that asks nothing of you but pleasure. Don’t monetize it. Just enjoy it.Support the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout.Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout.Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review, your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops.Our SponsorsSavvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/
- 2 weeks ago25 min
Soft Pivot: Pivoting with Care and Silence (Replay)
How do you know when it’s time to let go of the path you’re on? Kelley revisits the concept of the soft pivot: a gentler, more honest way to change before burnout or crisis forces your hand. She shares her own story of staying too long in work that no longer fit, the grief of leaving something you’re good at, and why the best pivots start in stillness instead of strategy.Key TakeawaysThe soft pivot means bending before you break. The whisper to change often comes long before the crisis, and listening to it is far gentler than a forced exit or a crash out.High-achieving Black women are often socialized to push through instead of pivot, which can turn self-betrayal into something that looks like achievement.You can love something and still need to leave it. Grief is a normal part of even a soft pivot, and staying misaligned costs more in the long run.Get still before you get strategic. Let your body weigh in, and take one small step instead of waiting for a full plan.Episode Highlights & Timestamps04:00 Introducing the soft pivot: choosing a softer, more honest shift before you break07:00 Socialized to push through instead of pivot: when self-betrayal masquerades as achievement11:00 Why the soft pivot hurts less than a crash out, and how to know when it’s time14:00 How to begin: get still before you get strategic, and take one small stepGentle InvitationTake one small step today. Ask yourself: what am I holding onto that no longer feels true about myself?Write it down without judgment, or say it out loud on a walk or your commute. You don’t have to blow everything up, and you don’t have to know the end. Just honor the soft whisper that says it’s time.Support the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout.Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout.Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review, your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops.Our SponsorsSavvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle
- 3 weeks ago31 min
I Stopped Waiting For the World to Feel Safe
After seeing a viral clip of two Black women saying there aren’t many safe spaces for ambitious Black women, Kelley shares why she doesn’t disagree, and why her relationship to that truth has changed. In this solo episode, she walks through the five truths she’s cultivated over the last five years to create safety for herself instead of waiting for the world to provide it, and what it feels like to finally exhale.Key TakeawaysThe world can’t guarantee safety, so waiting for it is a losing game. Kelley isn’t disputing that Black women face disproportionate harm, she’s choosing to create safety rather than wait for it.Other people’s opinions are data, not instructions. When you trust yourself, reactions can inform you without defining you or running your decisions.Build the community you need, not the one you imagined. Stop asking one person to be everything, and start assigning people to roles in your life.Protecting your peace requires actually letting yourself experience it. Boundaries shouldn’t become a fortress, and you can be both vulnerable and discerning.Episode Highlights & Timestamps03:00 Truth #1: Other people’s opinions are data, not instructions06:00 Truth #2: Everyone’s life isn’t a party while yours is a tragedy11:00 Truth #3: Build the community you need, not the one you imagined16:00 Truth #4: Creating safety requires sacrifice22:00 Truth #5: Protecting your peace requires vulnerabilityGentle InvitationSit with this question this week: what are you waiting for the world to give you instead of creating for yourself? Start small. Name one role you can assign to someone in your life, or one place where a little vulnerability might let someone show up for you.Support the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout.Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout.Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review, your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops.Our SponsorsSavvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle
- 4 weeks ago30 min
Opt Into Rest When the World Feels Heavy
With so much happening in the world, Kelley offers a moment of Zen: a conversation about protecting your nervous system, holding onto your joy, and not losing your focus in chaotic times. She makes the case that rest, regulation, and joy aren’t luxuries, they’re necessities and forms of resistance, and she shares three practical tools for bringing your body back to calm, plus a guided meditation to close out the episode.Key TakeawaysRest, regulation, and joy aren’t luxuries, they’re necessities and forms of resistance. Choosing them isn’t a cop-out, it’s how we thrive and survive.Overworking is a trauma response. You can’t hustle your way out of an unsafe world or a shaky economy, and feeling exhausted or anxious doesn’t mean something is wrong with you, it’s your nervous system doing what it was designed to do.Three quick practices can bring your body back to regulation: breathwork (inhale for four, hold for four, exhale for six), the 5-4-3-2-1 senses exercise, and a body scan.Build a joy practice. List five joy practices that are free or inexpensive and take five minutes or less, then choose one to do daily as your act of protest.Episode Highlights & Timestamps03:00 Why overworking is a trauma response, and why you can’t hustle your way out08:00 Rest as resistance: practical ways to rest, like shutting your laptop at 5 p.m. and logging off12:00 How to regulate your nervous system: breathwork, 5-4-3-2-1, and a body scan20:00 Joy as resistance, and why you need five joy practices you can do in five minutes or less27:00 Guided meditation to reclaim rest and regulation (2-3 minutes of calm)Gentle InvitationBefore this episode ends, list five joy practices that take five minutes or less, ones that are free or inexpensive and easy to reach. Then choose one and do it daily this week, small and consistent, as your act of protest.Support the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout.Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout.Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review, your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops.Our SponsorsSavvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
- Oct 7, 202627 min
Finding Whimsy At the End of the World
With so much feeling heavy right now, Kelley makes the case for doubling down on whimsy, not despite how hard things are, but because of it. She shares a three-step framework for getting delight back into your life, why whimsy doesn't require money or a vacation, and why joy and grief can coexist without one canceling out the other.Key TakeawaysWhimsy isn't frivolous, it's exactly what we need when everything feels hard. Waiting for perfect conditions to feel delight means waiting forever.The three-step whimsy framework: remember what delighted you as a kid, experiment without judging whether it "fits" your life, then find and pursue the delight by actually putting it back in.Whimsy doesn't require money or a complete life overhaul. Try asking, "How can I make this 10% more delightful?" instead.Joy and grief can coexist. Being joyful doesn't mean you don't understand what's happening in the world, it means you're choosing something different anyway.Episode Highlights & Timestamps08:00 The three-step framework for bringing whimsy back: remember, experiment, find and pursue delight14:00 The "10% more delightful" challenge, and why you should stop saving things for a special occasion17:00 Whimsy without spending: why delight doesn't require money20:00 Why joy and grief can coexist, and why survival can't be the full measure of your lifeGentle InvitationThis week, name one thing you loved in the past that you haven't done in a long time. Try it, and do it with maximum delight, for no better reason than it will make you smile.Support the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout.Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout.Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review, your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops.Our SponsorsSavvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
- Sep 30, 202624 min
Let Fall Remind You To Let Go
After a few heavier episodes, Kelley comes in with a celebration of fall, her favorite season. Working off the quote "Autumn shows us how beautiful it is to let things go," she walks through her personal Fall Inventory, five gentle questions about what to release and what to welcome in as the season turns, with zero self-judgment required.Key TakeawaysFall is an invitation to let go, not another season to optimize or berate yourself. Reflection can be gentle instead of punishing.Comfort and coziness aren't selfish or lazy, they're the pathway to safety. And safety isn't a one-time act, it's a ritual you repeat.The Fall Inventory is five questions: what are you letting go of, what are you leaning into, what keeps you cozy, what keeps you safe, and what keeps you optimistic.Optimism is a natural byproduct of safety and comfort, not something you force or tie to hitting a specific goal or number.Episode Highlights & Timestamps01:00 The quote that inspired the episode, "Autumn shows us how beautiful it is to let things go"03:00 What are you letting go of this fall? (Kelley lets go of obsessively tracking goals and numbers)06:00 What are you leaning into? (Prioritizing coziness and a slower pace)14:00 What's keeping you safe? Why safety is a ritual, not a one-time act9:00 What's keeping you optimistic, and why it's a natural byproduct of safety and comfortGentle InvitationPick one or two of the five questions, what to let go of, what to lean into, what keeps you cozy, what keeps you safe, what keeps you optimistic, and gently reflect. No self-judgment required, just curiosity.Support the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout.Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout.Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review, your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops.Our SponsorsSavvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
- Sep 23, 202621 min
What Self Abandonment Costs Us
Kelley tells the story of a surgery that went wrong, and the email from her job that made her realize she'd been doing her life wrong: "So when are you coming back?" In this solo episode, she unpacks what self-abandonment gave her, what it cost her, and how it doesn't just harm you individually, it changes how we relate to each other too. She closes with a three-step practice for staying open instead of closing off.Key TakeawaysSelf-abandonment can work for a while, it makes you look dependable, gets you opportunities, even more money. But the bill always comes due, sometimes as burnout, sometimes as a health crisis.Ambition isn't the problem. The problem is leaving yourself behind while chasing it.Self-abandonment doesn't just cost you individually, it costs community too. Depleted, distrustful work environments teach us to be suspicious of each other, even other Black women who genuinely like each other.When jealousy or comparison shows up, get curious instead of combative. Ask what you actually want, and how you can move differently, not how to take it from someone else.Episode Highlights & Timestamps00:00 The surgery that went wrong, and the email that changed everything, "So when are you coming back?"04:00 What self-abandonment actually looked like day to day09:00 What self-abandonment cost Kelley, individually, health-wise, and long-term11:00 How depleted work environments teach Black women to distrust each other14:00 A three-step practice for staying open: sit with it, get curious, ask "how can I get what they got?"Gentle InvitationThis week, notice one place you might be abandoning yourself for a short-term win.Ask yourself: how can I keep my hand open without handing myself over?Support the ShowIf you'd like to make a one-time gift in honor of this milestone and support the continued work of Black Girl Burnout, you can donate through Ko-fi at ko-fi.com/blackgirlburnout.Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout.Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review, your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time.Stay in TouchJoin our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops.Our SponsorsSavvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircleAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
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About Black Girl Burnout
Black Girl Burnout is a podcast hosted by Kelley Bonner dedicated to helping black women manage the stress of daily living and preventing the detrimental effects of burnout. Black women often feel overburdened and undervalued, and this podcast offers palpable solutions for this undeniable phenomenon. Bonner is a licensed therapist with over 15 years of experience helping people and organizations transform, evolve, and heal burnout. Each week, she dives deep on topics around burnout including career burnout, relationship burnout, and how racism and sexism contribute to the acceleration of burnout-in just 15 minutes! Bonners helps listeners develop the tools to combat and overcome burnout. During each episode, she guides listeners through bite-sized and manageable practices that provide immediate relief by leaning into their own intuition and becoming more engaged and connected with themselves and their surroundings.
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