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by Jeff Cook and T.J. Wilson
The Enneagram is a map of the human personality. It’s a tool for navigating relationships. It creates language for what motivates us and helps us look at the way we look at everything else. Most importantly the enneagram is a mirror; because sometimes you need help seeing yourself.
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Join our Tuesday night Reading Room discussions : HEREWhat happens when we combine the nine Enneagram types with the three human instincts? We get 27 subtypes—and a whole new layer of complexity in understanding personality, motivation, and relationships.In this episode of The Reading Room, Jeff continues exploring Helen Palmer’s The Enneagram in Love and Work, examining the history of the instincts and how self-preservation, sexual (one-to-one), and social energies interact with each of the nine types. Moving through all 27 subtypes, Jeff highlights Palmer’s most compelling observations about the passions, relationships, and the hidden motivations that shape our lives.But how much of this framework actually holds up? While some of Palmer’s descriptions offer remarkable insight, others seem incomplete or miss the mark entirely. Jeff challenges several of her conclusions, particularly those concerning Enneagram Ones, and asks whether subtypes are essential to understanding personality—or simply another useful language for exploring ourselves.#Enneagram #EnneagramSubtypes #EnneagramInstincts #HelenPalmer #TheReadingRoom
What happens when an Enneagram Eight loses control? And what does it look like when their strength gives way to tenderness?In this episode of Around the Circle, Jeff sits down with three Enneagram Eights—Kyle, Deena, and Grace—to explore their experiences of stress and security, particularly their movement toward Five and Two. Together, they discuss the Eight's relationship with anger, anxiety, vulnerability, and the often-overlooked emotional life beneath their powerful exterior.The conversation explores the difference between gut intuition and emotional connection, why Eights often express love through action, and how fear can quickly become anger when their sense of agency is threatened. Along the way, the panel considers how instinctual differences shape their experiences and how growth can open the door to generosity, service, and tenderness. What happens when an Eight discovers that strength isn't always about being in control?#enneagram #enneagram8 #enneagrameight
Join us on Tuesdays : HEREIn this episode of the Reading Room, Jeff begins exploring the nine Enneagram types through Helen Palmer's The Enneagram in Love and Work. Moving through the first pages of each type's chapter, Jeff examines four central themes: worldview, spiritual path, concerns, and personality bias. What does each type believe about the world, where does its attention go, and what does meaningful growth require?This time, Jeff highlights Palmer's most compelling insights while pushing back on her assumptions about childhood wounds, the origins of personality, and the relationship between our motivations and behaviors. Along the way, he considers the difference between describing a type's struggles and identifying the work that might actually lead to growth.Type Two: Becoming indispensable to others, the subtle manipulation of relationships, and learning to recognize personal needs and worth apart from being needed.Type Three: Confusing performance with identity, losing touch with genuine emotions, and learning to distinguish the authentic self from the image presented to others.Type Four: The push-pull of longing and rejection, the emotional focus on love and loss, and learning to find satisfaction in what is already present.Type Five: The desire for privacy and independence, mistaking emotional detachment for spiritual maturity, and discovering the importance of participating in life rather than merely observing it.Type Six: The complicated relationship with authority, forgetting past successes, and developing genuine faith rather than settling for the security of rules and protective structures.Type Seven: Finding joy in possibilities and plans, replacing painful feelings with positive alternatives, and learning to stay present rather than moving on.Type Eight: Confusing subjective convictions with objective truth, using power to establish control, and learning to question personal assumptions while genuinely considering other perspectives.Type Nine: The comfort of neutrality, the enormous energy spent avoiding what matters most, and learning to direct attention toward personal priorities and meaningful action.Type One: The severe inner critic, the tendency to turn self-criticism outward, and the difficult but essential work of distinguishing what we want from what we believe is right.Throughout the episode, Jeff asks whether traditional Enneagram descriptions adequately capture the motivations beneath our behaviors. Can we move beyond familiar caricatures and childhood narratives toward a more precise understanding of each type—and a clearer picture of what growth actually looks like?
What happens when Enneagram Nines begin taking up space in their own life?In this episode of Around the Circle, Jeff sits down with five Enneagram Nines—Sara, Theresa, Sue, Lynsie, and Andrew—to explore their relationships with their body, head, and heart. Together, they discuss the challenge of listening to their physical self, the mental energy spent considering everyone else's perspective, and the difficulty of expressing their own emotions, desires, and needs.We then take up the experience of Nines as they move to Six in stress and Three in security. Along the way, the panel explores anger, inertia, self-neglect, confidence, and the possibility that growth for Nines involves learning to recognize their own value and take up space in the world.
Join us on Tuesdays : HERE____________What if the greatest obstacle to becoming who we want to be is settling for something less than what we truly desire?In this episode of the Reading Room, Jeff continues his study of Helen Palmer’s The Enneagram in Love and Work, exploring the relationship between our deepest fears, what we avoid, and the passions traditionally associated with each Enneagram type. What if the seven deadly sins are not the source of our struggles, but the fruit of something deeper?This time, Jeff introduces the idea of idols—the lesser substitutes we settle for when our fears shape our choices. Ones settle for being right instead of being good. Twos pursue appreciation instead of genuine love. Threes chase image instead of excellence. Across all nine types, these false substitutes promise satisfaction but ultimately leave us wanting more.How can recognizing what we settle for help us understand our shadow, confront our fears, and recover the things we genuinely desire?______Join the Reading Room!We're studying Helen Palmer's The Enneagram in Love and Work together every Tuesday evening. Join us for thoughtful conversations about the Enneagram and the things that matter most.Sign up : HERE#Enneagram #HelenPalmer #AroundTheCircle #EnneagramTypes #PersonalGrowth
In this episode of Around the Circle, Jeff welcomes Sherry Danner, former marriage and family therapist, boundaries coach, and Enneagram Five, for a conversation about boundaries as the art of relationship. Rather than simply protecting our peace or learning to say no, they explore how boundaries shape our identity, commitments, and ability to connect with others.This time, Jeff and Sheri discuss the difference between hurt and harm, the challenge of being clear, kind, direct, and honest, and how our familiar strategies for avoiding discomfort can eventually work against us. Lastly, they explore the role of the head, heart, and body centers in navigating relationships, including our desires for clarity, connection, and agency. When does protecting ourselves become a form of isolation? And what might it look like to establish boundaries that make deeper relationships possible? Connect with SherrySherry is currently developing Divine Minds, a new project focused on identifying and overcoming patterns that keep us from pursuing what we truly desire. Drawing on insights from the Enneagram and personal growth work, she plans to offer individual and group opportunities beginning in early 2027.Website: divinelines.com (currently under construction)Email: sherry@divinelines.comReach out to Sherry to join her mailing list, learn about upcoming offerings, or inquire about working with her individually.
What do Enneagram Eights, Nines, and Ones really have in common?In this Enneagram panel, Jeff is joined by coaches representing the three Body Types to explore the inner worlds of Eights (Stacey Wynn), Nines (TJ Wilson), and Ones (Dani Cooper). They talk about agency, autonomy, control, anger, energy, and what it actually feels like to move through the world from the Body Center.Along the way, the conversation explores the arrows and lines, passive aggression in Nines, the One’s relationship with control and spontaneity, the Eight’s movement between strength and vulnerability, and the complicated relationship all three types have with anger. The group also pushes back on the idea that our Enneagram type necessarily begins with a childhood wound, asking whether our type may shape how we experience our story rather than simply being caused by it.What changes when anger isn’t simply a problem to overcome, but a source of energy, agency, and action?#Enneagram #Enneagram8 #Enneagram9 #Enneagram1 #EnneagramTypes
To meet with us on Tuesday Nights : GO HERE___What if the deepest motivation of each type begins not with something broken, but with something good?In this episode of the Reading Room, Jeff continues working through the introduction to Helen Palmer’s The Enneagram in Love and Work, focusing on a foundational question: Where does our Enneagram type actually come from? Palmer describes the passions—the traditional deadly sins—as a central axis of type, shaping the biases through which we experience ourselves and the world.This time, Jeff pushes back, exploring three categories that may be more foundational to our experience: embodiment, fear, and avoidance.#Enneagram #HelenPalmer #EnneagramTypes #PersonalGrowth #TheReadingRoom
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The Enneagram is a map of the human personality. It’s a tool for navigating relationships. It creates language for what motivates us and helps us look at the way we look at everything else. Most importantly the enneagram is a mirror; because sometimes you need help seeing yourself.
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