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You Can't Do That: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Never Not Media
A podcast about hockey from three women who have more opinions than information and LOTS of feelings about the Washington Capitals. These enthusiastically self-righteous idiots aren't here to win - they're here to make friends! (And talk about which hockey players are cats and which are dogs.) Join Eva, Kelly, and Rave for jokes and yelling about the latest league headlines, player antics, and more.
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- 3 weeks ago1h 19m
#229: Farewell, Crapper
"This is Cognitive Dissonance: Ignore It: The Sport." We're back, babes! Rave, Kelly, and Eva gather to assess the overall state of the Washington Capitals, evaluate our newest boys (and boys who aren't new but who we lowkey forgot about, sorry to those boys), review Kelly's notes from the Caps-Pens home opener, and share a big announcement. This episode was recorded on October 11, 2026. Timecodes: Experience Cuppage | New Caps! | First few Caps games of the season ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
- 3 weeks ago2 min
Official Trailer: Season 10
We're baaaaaaaack. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
- Jun 19, 20261h 10m
#228: Jarv-Pilled
"'Scenes From A Hat' ass." Shocking no one, Eva, Kelly, and Rave cheered as the Carolina Hurricanes stomped on Vegas (and Carter Hart) to win the Stanley Cup, and became fully Jarv-pilled in the process. Also on the docket: Dylan Larkin, PWHL roster supremacy, and - yep, it's that time again - the combine. This episode was recorded on June 16, 2026. Timecodes: Pool Without a Ladder | Stanley Cup Finals | Elsewhere in the NHL/PWHLBuy merch!Support us on Patreon!
- Jun 5, 20261h 3m
#227: High-Danger Goofin'
"Matt! No!!" Is there a worse Cup Finals matchup for this particular podcast than Vegas vs. Carolina? Kelly, Eva, and Rave give this question the sincere deliberation it deserves…but not before checking in on several more compelling topics, including Team Finland, the Montreal Victoire, and Evgeni Malkin. This episode was recorded on June 2, 2026.Timecodes: Summer Camp Catalog | Worlds & the PWHL | The Stanley Cup FinalsBuy merch!Support us on Patreon!
- May 22, 20261h 17m
#226: The Upsides
"Look how muscles he is." The second round of the playoffs has left Rave, Eva, and Kelly perturbed and disappointed tbqh!! Time to choose the lesser of several evils and check in on the relative villainy levels of Jakub Dobeš, John Tortorella, the PWHL's compliment sandwich, and the Canucks' new president(s) of hockey ops. This episode was recorded on May 19, 2026. Timecodes: Glory to the Whelk King | Playoffs Round 2 | Conf Finals | Elsewhere in the NHLBuy merch!Support us on Patreon!
- May 9, 20261h 31m
#225: It's Curtains, Girl!
"It galls an old bitch." LLOFFS TIME. Eva, Kelly, and Rave eulogize the first-round fallen and make irresponsible predictions about what’s to come in their usual even-handed, well-informed, and anti-Vegas way. Plus: Kelly weighs in on the latest Leafs news from the suffocating darkness of Canucks Corner. This episode was recorded on May 7, 2026. Timecodes: Baseball Nickname Generator | Playoffs Round 1 | Playoffs Round 2 | Elsewhere in the NHLBuy merch!Support us on Patreon!
- Apr 17, 20261h 21m
#224: Not Ovi Til It's Ovi
"Go die with him!" Kelly, Eva, and Rave are serving up some piping hot copium about the retirement or non-retirement of our load-bearing Russian machine. Grab a glass, friends. Also on the docket: dragging the Leafs organization for filth in the public square, reminiscing about our early love for the Avs, and assessing the first-round playoffs matchups based on criteria we made up a second ago.This episode was recorded on April 15, 2026. Timecodes: Don't Let the Pigeon | Caps chat | Sid and Ovi...and Geno | Playoffs preview | Leafs exposé!Buy merch!Support us on Patreon!
- Apr 1, 20261h 17m
#223: Problematic Age Caps
"Exhausted AND fatigued." Alexander Ovechkin keeps breaking records but he's got more important things to worry about, and so do Rave, Kelly, and Eva. Things like: All our new Caps babies! And CHILIGATE. And organ transplants. This episode was recorded on March 28, 2026.. Timecodes: Most Eligible Bachelors of Atchison, Kansas | Caps chat | Elsewhere in the NHLBuy merch!Support us on Patreon!
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About You Can't Do That
A podcast about hockey from three women who have more opinions than information and LOTS of feelings about the Washington Capitals. These enthusiastically self-righteous idiots aren't here to win - they're here to make friends! (And talk about which hockey players are cats and which are dogs.) Join Eva, Kelly, and Rave for jokes and yelling about the latest league headlines, player antics, and more.
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