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You Are Not Crazy: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Jessica Knight
You’re exhausted from over-functioning. Always managing the chaos. Always trying to keep the peace. You feel alone. Misunderstood. Like no one sees the full story—except you. You question yourself constantly. You wonder if you’re the problem. You’re not. This podcast helps you understand emotional abuse, coercive control, narcissistic relationships, and trauma bonds—so you can stop doubting yourself and start trusting what you already know. I’m Jessica Knight, emotional abuse coach and survivor. I help people make sense of confusing, destabilizing relationship dynamics—including gaslighting, manipulation, intermittent reinforcement, and post-separation abuse. Here, you’ll learn to recognize the patterns of narcissistic abuse, understand the psychology of trauma bonding, and rebuild your sense of clarity, stability, and self-trust. This podcast is especially for you if you are: • Leaving or recovering from an emotionally abusive relationship • Navigating divorce or post-separation coercive control • Trying to co-parent with a high-conflict or manipulative partner • Questioning your reality after gaslighting • Rebuilding yourself after psychological abuse You are not crazy. Your nervous system adapted to survive something real. This is your space to understand what happened, reclaim your truth, and heal—on your terms.
Latest Episodes
The most recent episodes — sign up to get AI-powered summaries of each one.
- 1 weeks ago15 min
I Kept Trying to Leave a Relationship Built to Pull Me Back
In this episode, I talk about why leaving a relationship built on coercive control almost never happens the way people expect it to, in one clean break that sticks the first time. I get into the departures nobody counts: the afternoons spent sitting in a parked car working up the nerve to call a lawyer or a coach, the conversations that started with "I can't do this anymore" and somehow ended with me apologizing while he sat there in tears. I share my own experience with a partner who c...
- 2 weeks ago15 min
Why People With Personality Disorders Rarely See Their Own Harm
In this episode, I break down something that confuses almost everyone who has loved a person with personality pathology. We assume that if someone caused real harm, some part of them would know it. I explain why that assumption is usually wrong, and what impaired self-awareness actually looks like from the inside of a disordered mind. I walk through the defense mechanisms that protect a person from ever feeling the shame that would normally lead to change, including denial, minimization, and ...
- 3 weeks ago12 min
The Cost of Being Someone Else's Nervous System
I'm sharing a pattern from my own past relationship with a partner who had borderline traits, the slow erosion of any separate identity, where a walk to pick up my daughter became a negotiation and a boundary became proof I didn't love him. I break down why explaining yourself never works in this dynamic, what I call the "fake repair" cycle, and why mapping the pattern on paper changed everything for me. I also talk about why healing sometimes means accepting you'll be the villain in someone ...
- 3 weeks ago54 min
Knowing Your Pattern Isn't the Same as Changing It, with Stefanos Sifandos
I've been listening to Stefanos Sifandos for years, long before this podcast existed. I first came across him through Mark Groves during the stretch of my life when I was busy diagnosing everyone around me, and something he said pushed me to flip the question from why this person does what they do to why I keep attracting people like them. I still have the notebook where I wrote it down. When I told him about it, he added a second question that landed even harder: why do I stick around? In th...
- Oct 7, 202616 min
Why Confusion Is the Real Damage in Coercive Control
In this episode I look at why confusion, not fear, is often the clearest sign that a relationship is built on coercive control. I walk through four patterns that show up again and again: the gap between how someone behaves in private versus in public, the shift from talking about impact to litigating intent, direct distortion of what a person saw or heard, and boundaries that get reframed as emotional injuries against the other person. I explain why confusion works in favor of the person caus...
- Sep 30, 202618 min
Are They Trauma Bonded to You Too?
In this episode, I'm answering a question I get asked constantly: are they trauma bonded to me too? People ask this when the person who hurt them starts falling apart after a breakup or after being told no. The panic, the pleading, the sudden self-awareness. It can look like proof that the relationship was mutual, that maybe both people were caught in the same storm. I will work through what is happening and how it looks the same as attachment, dependency, or the panic that comes from losing ...
- Sep 23, 202658 min
The Lying Isn't an Accident: A Conversation with Anne Blythe from BTR.org
Sponsored recommendation: Listen to The Might Delete Later Podcast with Derrick Pearson This week I'm joined by Anne Blythe, founder of BTR.org (Betrayal Trauma Recovery), an organization that has supported over 9,000 women navigating a partner's lying, gaslighting, infidelity, and manipulation. Anne shares her own story of spending seven years and seven therapists trying to understand what was happening in her marriage, and what finally helped her see the truth. We talk about why couples t...
- Sep 16, 202613 min
Why I Stopped Trying to Decode Them
In this episode I talk about why emotionally abusive and coercive controlling relationships feel so disorienting, and why you end up spending so much time trying to decode behavior that was never actually confusing to begin with. I explain why the through line in these relationships is power and control, not love or stress or a bad day, and why intermittent reinforcement is what keeps you hooked and doubting yourself. If you have ever felt like you were losing your mind in a relat...
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About You Are Not Crazy
You’re exhausted from over-functioning. Always managing the chaos. Always trying to keep the peace. You feel alone. Misunderstood. Like no one sees the full story—except you. You question yourself constantly. You wonder if you’re the problem. You’re not. This podcast helps you understand emotional abuse, coercive control, narcissistic relationships, and trauma bonds—so you can stop doubting yourself and start trusting what you already know. I’m Jessica Knight, emotional abuse coach and survivor. I help people make sense of confusing, destabilizing relationship dynamics—including gaslighting, manipulation, intermittent reinforcement, and post-separation abuse. Here, you’ll learn to recognize the patterns of narcissistic abuse, understand the psychology of trauma bonding, and rebuild your sense of clarity, stability, and self-trust. This podcast is especially for you if you are: • Leaving or recovering from an emotionally abusive relationship • Navigating divorce or post-separation coercive control • Trying to co-parent with a high-conflict or manipulative partner • Questioning your reality after gaslighting • Rebuilding yourself after psychological abuse You are not crazy. Your nervous system adapted to survive something real. This is your space to understand what happened, reclaim your truth, and heal—on your terms.
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Frequently Asked Questions
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