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Nope! We're Not Monogamous: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Ellecia Paine
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (Enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, tantra and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.
Latest Episodes
The most recent episodes — sign up to get AI-powered summaries of each one.
- 3 days ago26 min
Your Partner Wants Someone Else. Does That Mean You're Not Enough?
Your partner is attracted to someone else, and suddenly you're wondering... Are they sexier than me? Funnier? More interesting? What do they have that I don't? Um... can we talk about why we automatically turn someone else's attractiveness into evidence that we're not enough? I used to feel like I had to compete with anyone my partners were attracted to. And while that old comparison reflex still shows up sometimes, I've learned that I don't have to be better than someone else to be loved for...
- 2 weeks ago32 min
You're Not a Hypocrite for Feeling Jealous in Non-Monogamy, EP. 167
Can you be non-monogamous and still get jealous? And if you love dating other people but struggle when your partner does the same thing, does that make you a hypocrite? Come on. Can we stop acting like jealousy means you're bad at polyamory? Here's the thing. Most of us grew up with some pretty deeply ingrained ideas about love, being chosen, and what makes us worthy of a relationship. And then we start practicing ethical non-monogamy (ENM) and somehow expect all those insecurities to magical...
- Sep 24, 202615 min
My Marriage Ended.... That Doesn’t Mean It Failed, EP. 166
I’m back. And my life looks pretty different than it did a few months ago. I took most of the summer off from podcasting while I remodeled, moved, and navigated a pretty big life change: my husband and I split up. I’m sharing a little about where I’ve been, but this episode isn’t really about the details of my separation. It’s about a question I’ve been thinking about a lot: Does a relationship ending mean it failed? In this episode: Where I’ve been and why I took most of the summer offA litt...
- Sep 10, 20261h 15m
Rewind: Your Best Sex Isn't Behind You | Susan Bratton
Some conversations stay with you long after you hit stop recording. This is one of those conversations for me. I'm bringing back my interview with Susan Bratton, and I am not exaggerating when I say this is one of my favorite interviews I've ever done. Susan is a sex educator, author, and longtime consensually non-monogamous person who is incredibly passionate about helping people have more pleasure, better communication, and satisfying sex throughout their lives. And she has a LOT to say. We...
- Aug 27, 20261h 11m
Rewind: Jealousy, Compersion & the Messy Truth About Non-Monogamy with Dirty Lola
Some of my favorite conversations on this podcast are the ones where we stop trying to make non-monogamy look perfect and just talk about what it's actually like. This is absolutely one of those episodes. For this Rewind, I'm bringing back my conversation with sex educator Dirty Lola, and ohhhh, there is so much good stuff in this one. Lola takes us through her journey from experimenting with non-monogamy before she even had language for it, to marriage and monogamy, swinging, polyamory, divo...
- Aug 13, 20261h 4m
Rewind: How to Build Secure Polyamorous Relationships | Jessica Fern & David Cooley
Some conversations are just too good to stay buried in the archives. This week I'm bringing back one of my absolute favorite episodes with Jessica Fern, author of Polysecure, and David Cooley, co-author of Polywise. Even three years later, this conversation feels just as relevant, thoughtful, and practical as it did the first time we recorded it. If you've ever struggled with jealousy, conflict, emotional triggers, or wondered how to build relationships that actually grow stronger through har...
- Jul 30, 202658 min
Growing Up in a Polyamorous Family | A Conversation with Koe Creation
What is it actually like to grow up in a polyamorous family? There are plenty of opinions about how non-monogamy affects children, but very few of those opinions come from people who actually lived it. In this re-released episode of Nope, We're Not Monogamous, I sit down with educator, author, and activist Koe Creation, who grew up in a polyamorous family and now helps people navigate conversations around relationships, gender, sexuality, and chosen family. Together we explore what childhood ...
- Jul 16, 20261h 7m
Rewind: Wilder on Closed Triads, Poly Families & Living Authentically, EP. 161
Some conversations are simply too good to leave in the archives. This week I'm re-releasing one of my favorite early episodes with my dear friend, Wilder. Even years later, this conversation feels just as relevant. We dive into what it actually looks like to build a life outside of traditional relationship norms, from joining an already-married couple to creating a thriving polyamorous family together. Wilder shares her experience of living in a closed triad, navigating the assumptions people...
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About Nope! We're Not Monogamous
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (Enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, tantra and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.
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Frequently Asked Questions
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