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by Portia Louder
Portia spent four and a half years of her life in federal prison and her life was transformed. This is an account of kindness, faith and enduring friendships discovered in federal prison. Her story is told with the passion and insight of one who lived it. Portia opens our eyes and hearts to the real challenges and struggles that people in prison face.
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- 1 weeks ago32 min
Bryant Vega: He chose to Live
https://priesthoodmen.org/## Bryant Vega: Grief, Faith, and Finding His Way Back | Living Louder PodcastWhat happens when the life you thought you were building falls away—and you’re left facing grief, identity, and the question of what really matters?In this episode of the **Living Louder Podcast**, Chad sits down with Bryant Vega of Priesthood Men for an honest conversation about growing up in a faithful Latter-day Saint family, feeling different from those around him, and spending years searching for answers. Bryant describes how neurodivergence shaped his experience of social connection and identity, and how, without understanding what was happening, he turned to drugs, alcohol, and other behaviors to cope.Bryant shares the gradual process of stepping away from the Church and trying to build a life around work and ambition. After returning to church—not because he had all the answers, but because he felt drawn to it—he experienced an unimaginable loss: the death of his young daughter, Luna. He speaks with painful honesty about the shock of that loss, the physical weight of grief, and the period when he struggled to see a reason to keep going.In the midst of that devastation, Bryant recounts experiences that deepened his belief in God, an afterlife, and the possibility of being reunited with loved ones. He describes finding meaning in the temple, the support of his family, and the faith that helped him reconsider what matters most. Bryant is clear that belief does not make grief easy; his story is not a simple account of pain disappearing. It is a reflection on enduring sorrow while holding on to hope, love, and faith in Jesus Christ.This conversation also explores addiction, self-understanding, family relationships, divorce, and the ways life’s hardest experiences can change a person’s priorities. Bryant shares how learning more about himself helped him make sense of patterns he had struggled with for years, and why honesty and self-knowledge can be important steps toward change.Bryant’s story is deeply personal. His spiritual experiences are shared as his own, not as proof everyone will experience grief or faith in the same way. Whether you’re mourning a loved one, supporting someone through loss, wrestling with belief, or trying to understand yourself, this episode offers a candid conversation about finding connection and meaning during an extraordinarily difficult chapter.**Content note:** This episode discusses the death of a child, grief, substance use, and suicidal thoughts. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, contact local emergency services or a crisis support line.Subscribe to the **Living Louder Podcast** for more conversations about faith, resilience, and personal transformation. If this episode resonates with you, consider sharing it with someone who may need support or hope.#BryantVega #LivingLouderPodcast #FaithAndGrief #ChildLoss #GriefJourney #AddictionRecovery #FaithAndRecovery #JesusChrist #LatterDaySaints #HopeAfterLoss #MentalHealth #Neurodivergence #Family #Healing #Resilience #SpiritualJourney #Hope #Recovery #SecondChances
- 2 weeks ago48 min
From a Florida Prison to Priesthood Men
Brad Vega once thought faith was just a comforting story—something like Santa Claus, nice to believe in, but not real. Years later, after addiction, dozens of arrests, two prison sentences, and the collapse of his marriage, he found himself facing a choice: keep going down the road that was destroying his life, or reach for the faith his parents had taught him.In this candid conversation on the Living Louder Podcast, host Portia Louder talks with Brad about growing up in a Latter-day Saint family, drifting away from the Church, and struggling for years with drugs and alcohol. Brad describes the power addiction had over his choices, the pain his actions caused his family, and the terrifying realities of incarceration in Florida. He also reflects on the support and prayers his parents never gave up offering—even when he couldn’t yet see their impact.Brad shares two pivotal moments in his story: a frightening encounter in prison that unfolded while he was reading the Book of Mormon, and the devastating aftermath of a near-fatal accident that left him seriously injured and alone. In the middle of that brokenness, he says, he remembered what he had been taught about Jesus Christ and chose a different path.This is a conversation about more than a dramatic turnaround. It’s about the difficult reality of addiction, the cost of denial, the people who keep loving us through our darkest seasons, and the possibility of change when hope feels out of reach. Brad speaks openly about recovery, repentance, scripture, and the role his faith in Jesus Christ now plays in his life.Whether you’re personally navigating addiction, supporting someone who is, or simply wondering if people can truly change, Brad’s story offers a message of hope: you don’t have to hit rock bottom to seek help, and you don’t have to face the road ahead alone.Content note: This episode includes discussion of substance use, incarceration, suicidal thoughts, and a serious accident.Subscribe for more honest stories of faith, resilience, recovery, and transformation. Share this episode with someone who may need a reminder that a new beginning is possible.#BradVega #LivingLouderPodcast #AddictionRecovery #RecoveryStory #FaithAndRecovery #JesusChrist #BookOfMormon #LatterDaySaints #PrisonStories #HopeAndHealing #OvercomingAddiction #FaithJourney #SecondChances #Transformation #MentalHealthAwareness
- 3 weeks ago47 min
Richard The Great! A Childhood Dream Comes True
https://richardpaulevans.com/In this heartfelt conversation, bestselling author Richard Paul Evans joins Portia Louder for an honest discussion about loss, faith, family, resilience, and finding purpose after life takes an unexpected turn.Portia shares how she discovered Evans’s book The 5 Lessons years ago—and how one principle, making a decision, helped shape the choices that carried her through addiction, prison, and rebuilding her life. She also explains why Evans’s The Walk series has become so meaningful to people in prison, including the reading groups who discuss the books and find hope in their pages.Evans reflects on his own difficult experiences: growing up in poverty after his family lost financial stability, facing fear and uncertainty as a child, and later confronting the near-collapse of a business he had built. He describes the personal crisis that helped inspire The Walk—a story about losing nearly everything and asking what makes life worth continuing. Together, Portia and Richard explore how painful experiences can challenge our identities, reveal what matters most, and help us grow.The conversation also offers a glimpse into Evans’s writing process and the value of authenticity. He shares how his childhood inspired A Christmas Memory, why he learned to write for one reader rather than chase bestseller status, and how curiosity—and even AI research tools—helped him bring his upcoming historical novel, Mercy’s Child, to life. The book tells the story of Etta Wheeler’s efforts to rescue Mary Ellen Wilson, a child whose case helped change the way society viewed children’s rights.Evans also talks about the Christmas Box House, an organization he helped create to support children experiencing abuse and neglect. Over three decades, the work has supported thousands of children and families. He shares the setbacks that nearly ended the project, the moments that renewed his commitment, and why the mission remains so important.This episode is a moving reminder that a person’s hardest chapter does not have to be the end of their story. Whether you’re rebuilding after a setback, searching for a sense of purpose, or looking for a book that speaks to hope and second chances, Portia and Richard’s conversation offers encouragement to keep going—and to consider who you are becoming along the way.Learn more about the Christmas Box House at thechristmasbox.org.#RichardPaulEvans #PortiaLouder #LivingLouderPodcast #TheWalkSeries #TheChristmasBox #Hope #Resilience #SecondChances #Faith #Recovery #PrisonReentry #PersonalGrowth #ChildWelfare #Writing #Inspiration
- 4 weeks ago1h 3m
Whatever it Takes! - with Sean Castleberry
In this powerful episode of the Living Louder Podcast, Portia sits down with Sean Castlederry for an honest and inspiring conversation about addiction, abandonment, homelessness, incarceration, recovery, fatherhood, faith, and the possibility of starting over.Sean shares how growing up in Utah, experiencing his father’s absence, losing a beloved uncle to a heroin overdose, and struggling to fit in shaped many of the choices he made as a teenager and young adult. What began with partying and prescription drugs eventually progressed into selling substances, living in the fast life, homelessness, heroin addiction, repeated jail stays, and serious felony charges.He openly discusses the mindset that kept him trapped—including the belief that consequences did not matter, that jail could feel like a vacation, and that the street lifestyle itself became an addiction. Sean also talks about losing custody of his son, the pain his choices caused his family, and the moment his mother’s reaction to his prison sentence became a true turning point.Rather than viewing prison as the end of his story, Sean describes how it became the place where he began taking an honest look at himself. Through prayer, meditation, recovery, and difficult self-reflection, he started to understand that freedom could be found internally—even behind walls. After release, he chose to take the harder path: extended treatment, sober living, therapy, accountability, and learning to accept suggestions from others.Today, Sean is celebrating years of sobriety, a healthy marriage, fatherhood, meaningful work as an electrician, and renewed hope of rebuilding a relationship with his son. He shares how becoming a father to his daughter helped heal parts of him he did not know needed healing—and how recovery gave him the chance to become the role model he once needed.This conversation is about more than addiction. It is about identity, personal responsibility, tough love, forgiveness, spirituality, and the courage to keep moving forward when the future feels impossible. Sean’s message is clear: your past choices do not have to become your identity, and life can change when you begin taking the next right step.If you or someone you love is struggling, Sean encourages you to reach out, be honest, and ask for help. There is power in saying, “I can’t do this alone.”Please like, comment, subscribe, and share this episode with someone who may need hope today.Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and is not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, legal, or addiction-treatment advice. If you are in crisis or facing immediate danger, contact emergency services or a qualified crisis resource in your area.#LivingLouderPodcast #Recovery #AddictionRecovery #Sobriety #SecondChances #PrisonReform #Reentry #OvercomingAddiction #RecoveryStory #ToughLove #Fatherhood #MentalHealth #FaithAndRecovery #Homelessness #CriminalJustice #PersonalGrowth #Healing #Hope #Redemption #RecoveryIsPossible
- Sep 26, 202649 min
Never Lost Alone - With Scott Hammond
What does it take to rebuild your life after everything familiar has been taken away?In this heartfelt episode of Living Louder, Portia Louder sits down with author, professor, consultant, and search-and-rescue volunteer Dr. Scott Hammond for a meaningful conversation about resilience, hope, second chances, faith, and the courage to keep moving forward when life feels uncertain.Scott shares stories from a life shaped by change. Raised in different parts of the world, including Indonesia, France, Austria, and Utah, he learned early how to connect with people from different cultures and backgrounds. He also opens up about his academic journey, dyslexia, becoming a professor, and discovering that curiosity—not perfection—is often what leads us toward growth.A major focus of the conversation is Scott’s experience in search and rescue. Through his work with trained search dogs, Scott has witnessed people facing some of the darkest and most frightening moments of their lives. These experiences inspired his books and helped him recognize a powerful connection between being lost in the wilderness and feeling lost in life.Scott explains why “you’re never lost alone.” Even when someone feels forgotten, overwhelmed, or disconnected, there are often people willing to search, support, encourage, and believe in them. One unforgettable story involves hundreds of strangers coming together to find a teenage boy who had disappeared in the wilderness—and cheering when he was finally brought home.Portia also shares deeply personal reflections from her own experience in prison, her journey home, and the process of rebuilding her identity from the inside out. She discusses learning to define herself by her values, choosing honesty, embracing curiosity, forgiving herself, and discovering that her most important work could begin after her life had been completely changed.Together, Portia and Scott explore the importance of hope, the healing power of storytelling, the impact of compassionate support, and why people are more than their worst decisions or most difficult chapters. They discuss how families can support incarcerated loved ones, why society should cheer people on as they work to change, and how one person’s belief can make a lasting difference.This episode is for anyone who has ever felt lost, struggled to begin again, carried shame, supported someone in crisis, or wondered whether change is still possible. It is a reminder that our past does not have to define our future—and that sometimes, the path forward begins with simply taking the next step.Listen, reflect, and share this episode with someone who needs a little hope today.Subscribe to Living Louder for more honest conversations, inspiring stories, and powerful reminders that every life has meaning, every person has value, and no one has to find their way alone.#LivingLouder #ScottHammond #PortiaLouder #Resilience #Hope #SecondChances #PrisonReentry #PersonalGrowth #MentalHealthAwareness #SearchAndRescue #LifeAfterPrison #Inspiration #Faith #Healing #Forgiveness #OvercomingAdversity #HumanConnection #Recovery #Motivation #YouAreNeverLostAlone
- Sep 18, 202634 min
Can Cookies & Soda Really Become a Cake? Prison Cake Challenge
Welcome to the Living Louder Podcast with Portia Louder! In this episode, Portia shares the story behind her famous prison cake—a simple, creative dessert made from commissary items that became a meaningful way to connect with others during her seven-year federal prison sentence.Using cookies, pudding, milk, soda, and chocolate candies, Portia demonstrates how to make the cake step by step, including the small techniques that helped her perfect the recipe after making it nearly 100 times in prison. She explains why the type of bowl, cooking time, ingredients, and even the number of chocolate candies can make a difference. She also shows how to create a simple chocolate frosting and shares tips for cooling, flipping, slicing, and serving the finished cake.As she cooks, Portia reflects on her life before prison, her conviction for real estate fraud, and the painful lessons that came from her choices. She discusses how cooking became an important part of prison culture—bringing people together, creating community, and offering comfort in a difficult environment. From prison pizzas and tortilla chips to slushies, sushi, and chicken tortilla soup, Portia highlights the resourcefulness and creativity of the women she met.This episode also explores the humanity often overlooked in stories about incarceration. Portia talks about the friendships, acts of kindness, education, music, sunsets, and everyday moments that changed her perspective. She shares how volunteering in GED classes, teaching photography, helping women write resumes, and leading an “Explaining Your Conviction” class gave her a renewed sense of purpose.Portia’s goal is to share a more complete and human picture of prison life—one that goes beyond stereotypes and television portrayals. Her experiences were painful, but they also led to personal growth, meaningful relationships, and a new mission to help others feel less alone.Whether you are curious about prison cooking, interested in second chances, or simply looking for a fun and unusual dessert recipe, this episode offers a mix of storytelling, reflection, and practical instruction. Try making the prison cake with your family or friends and let Portia know how it turns out!Don’t forget to like, comment, subscribe, and share your thoughts. Have you ever made a recipe using limited ingredients? What prison-inspired recipe should Portia feature next?#LivingLouder #PortiaLouder #PrisonCake #PrisonCooking #PrisonStories #LifeAfterPrison #SecondChances #PersonalGrowth #IncarcerationStories #HumanizingPrison #CookingPodcast #DessertRecipe #EasyDessert #NoBakeInspiration #MicrowaveCake #CommissaryCooking #PrisonLife #FoodAndCommunity #Redemption #Storytelling #Podcast #YouTubePodcast #RealLifeStories #HopeAndHealing #CreativeCooking
- Sep 11, 20261h 3m
Andy’s Story from Hopeless to Hero
Welcome to the Living Louder Podcast, where powerful stories, honest reflections, and life-changing insights come together to inspire you to live with purpose, authenticity, and resilience. In this episode, we sit down with Andy Torgersen, a man who has traveled an incredible journey from addiction and anxiety to self-discovery and personal transformation. His story is a testament to the power of inner rewiring, the importance of living true to yourself, and the incredible freedom that comes from embracing your authentic self.Andy openly shares his struggles growing up in Utah, dealing with a heart condition, childhood anxiety, and the internal battles that shaped his early years. Despite having loving and supportive parents, Andy felt isolated and insecure, turning to sports as a source of validation and self-esteem. His obsession with baseball and external achievements became his way of coping, but underneath it all, he wrestled with deep feelings of inadequacy and fear. His journey into substance use started later in life, initially social, but eventually spiraling into a destructive cycle fueled by anxiety, unresolved trauma, and a desire to numb the pain.Throughout the conversation, Andy reflects on pivotal moments—his first experiences with alcohol, the chaos of relationships, and the rock-bottom moments that finally pushed him to seek help. His story is raw and real, highlighting the importance of inner work, community support, and the mindset shift necessary for lasting recovery. Andy emphasizes that true self-esteem comes from within and that each moment offers an opportunity to rewire negative beliefs and step into the best version of yourself.What makes Andy’s story so compelling is his unwavering commitment to growth and authenticity. He talks about how he consciously chose to redefine his identity—no longer labeling himself as an alcoholic, but as someone in recovery. His journey is ongoing, filled with ups and downs, but his focus remains on showing up fully, living intentionally, and spreading hope to others facing similar struggles. His message is clear: no matter how dark your past may be, there is always a path forward, and it begins with self-love, curiosity, and the willingness to be vulnerable.Whether you're in recovery, battling anxiety, or simply seeking inspiration to live louder and more authentically, this episode offers valuable insights and practical wisdom. Andy’s story reminds us that we all have the power to rewrite our narrative, tap into our passions, and create a life filled with joy, purpose, and freedom.Tune in, be inspired, and remember—your best self is just one honest moment away. Let Andy’s journey be a beacon of hope and a reminder that no matter where you’ve been, you can always choose to live louder.#LivingLouder #RecoveryJourney #SelfGrowth #InnerTransformation #AuthenticLiving #MentalHealthMatters #AddictionRecovery #PurposeDriven #SelfLove #Inspiration
- Aug 21, 20261h 10m
Surviving a Family Tragedy and Finding Hope in Recovery
Welcome to the Living Louder Podcast, where raw honesty, resilience, and hope take center stage. In this powerful episode, we sit down with James Spillet—a young man whose life has been shaped by unimaginable tragedy, addiction, and ultimately, profound transformation. James’s story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the possibility of redemption, even after experiencing the darkest moments.James opens up about his tumultuous childhood growing up in Utah, navigating a fractured family environment marked by addiction, emotional abuse, and the absence of a consistent father figure. From an early age, he was exposed to substances like huffing gasoline, marijuana, psychedelics, and prescription pills, which set him on a path of substance abuse that would span over a decade. His journey includes dealing drugs as a young teen, battling psychosis, and living through the devastating loss of his entire family—his father, two siblings, and stepbrother—who all tragically died in a family murder-suicide. James’s account of that night is both heartbreaking and inspiring, revealing how he managed to survive and find a way forward despite overwhelming grief.Throughout the episode, James shares the struggles of addiction, the cycles of relapse, and the relentless pursuit of sobriety. He talks candidly about the ups and downs of his recovery journey—from multiple treatment centers, jail time, and solitary confinement, to finally embracing a life of honesty, faith, and self-improvement. His story highlights the importance of accountability, community support, and the power of persistence in overcoming addiction.More than just a story of hardship, this conversation delves into themes of hope, healing, and the importance of seeking help. James emphasizes that no matter how bleak life may seem, there is always light on the other side of darkness. He encourages others who are struggling to reach out, ask for help, and believe in the possibility of living a fulfilling, meaningful life beyond addiction and trauma.This episode is a reminder that resilience is born from adversity, and that even in our lowest moments, we can find the strength to rebuild. Whether you’re battling addiction, facing family trauma, or simply seeking inspiration, James’s story offers hope and a call to action: you are not alone, and your story is still being written.Join us in listening to a story of heartbreak, hope, and healing. Be inspired by James’s journey of transformation and learn how he is now helping others find their way out of the darkness.#LivingLouderPodcast #AddictionRecovery #SurvivorStory #FamilyTrauma #OvercomingTrauma #MentalHealthMatters #SobrietyJourney #HopeInRecovery #Inspiration #SecondChances #Resilience #HealingJourney #UtahStories #MentalHealthAwareness #TraumaRecovery #NeverGiveUp
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About Living Louder
Portia spent four and a half years of her life in federal prison and her life was transformed. This is an account of kindness, faith and enduring friendships discovered in federal prison. Her story is told with the passion and insight of one who lived it. Portia opens our eyes and hearts to the real challenges and struggles that people in prison face.
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Frequently Asked Questions
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It's a free AI-powered email that summarizes new episodes of Living Louder as soon as they're published. You get the key takeaways, notable quotes, and links & mentions — all in a quick read.
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