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Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't: Daily Summaries Delivered
by Tony Santore
Why do some plants grow where they do? How can geology cause new plant species to evolve? Why are some plants pollinated by flies, some by bats, some by birds, and others by bees? How does a plant evolve to look like a rock? How can destroying lawns soothe the soul? This is a show about plants and plant habitat through the lens of natural selection and ecology, with a side of neurotic ranting, light humor, occasional profanity, & the perpetual search for the filthiest taqueria bathroom.
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- 4 weeks ago1h 54m
Bolivia Rants
2 hours of rants - recorded from a filthy motel room in Miami, Florida during an intermittend layover - about the route from Santa Cruz dela Sierra, Bolivia West into the dry Inter-Andean Valleys and up to the Altiplano, and the many plants encountered along the way :Onoseris acerifolia,Deuterocohnia meziana,Neoraimondia herzogiana,Schinus mollis,Puya glomerata,Schinopsis lorentzii,Cereus hankeanus,Harrisia tetracantha,Blossfeldia liliputana,Puya humilis,Trichocereus tunariensis,Trichocereus bridgesii,Zanthoxylum coco,Koeberlinia holacantha, and more.
- Oct 1, 20261h 57m
Nonhuman Teachers presents Joey Santore - _Kicked Outta the Botanic Garden_
Originally recorded June of 2026 in Los Angeles California.
- Sep 16, 20262h 7m
Paleobotanical Origins of The Reflecting Pool Disaster
In this episode we talk with Chuck Delwiche about the early evolution of land plants, photosynthetic bacteria, what Earth may have looked like 4 billion years ago, what some of the first land plants look like, why bioluminescent dinoflagellates (Pyrocystis) "light up", and the species of algae responsible for the reflecting pool disaster that nearly have the president an aneurysm over the summer. Chuck Delwiche is a professor of biology at University of Maryland who studies green algae, archaea, and the early evolution of plants.
- Aug 31, 202649 min
Corruption, Cronyism, & Destroying a National Park
Laiken Jordahl is the national public lands advocate for the center for biological diversity. In this episode he tells us about the destruction of Big bend National Park for a pointless and unnecessary border wall and what efforts have been made to stop it.
- Aug 25, 20261h 22m
Taos & Denver Rants
Rants about Taos, Garden Design in the sba to j aisle, how to tell if a plant has massive tuberous roots, Peteria scoparia, a new species of Paronychia leucochthonicola, Texas Madrone in Denver, US intervention in Latin America, and more.
- Aug 5, 20261h 59m
Tennessee Oak Savanna Rants
Ad-free episodes of the podcast are available on the crime pays but botany doesn't patreon. A reminder to any complaining jadrools : I don't choose the ads. Your own algorithm does. Thank your corporate overlords.This episode contains rants about Tennessee Oak Savannas, suburban Chicago fire ecology, granite balds in South Carolina and Georgia, the close ties between shame, status and native plants in South Texas-Mexican American communities, a hopeful city council meeting about a native plant ordinance, and more.
- Jul 3, 20261h 37m
June in Ft. Worth Rants
Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesntRants about the Extinction of the Ft. Worth Prairie, the rediscovery of Dalea sabinalis, plants with huge taproots, dry limestone plants, idiotic development, getting fleeced and ripped off in Costa Rica, fleabag motels, the Bowel Movement Supermarket, reminiscing about riding freight trains to Ft. Madison Iowa for the $5 cinema, and more
- Jun 10, 20261h 51m
Interstate 8 Tour Rants
Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesntIn this episode we rant about all night drives through the desert, meth-amphetamine and Del Taco Management, Phoenix Horticultural Atrocities, the "Kicked Outta Da Botanic Garden" Tour, plumbing leaks, Brad Lancaster's work in the Dunbar Spring Neighborhood of Tucson, and more.
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About Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
Why do some plants grow where they do? How can geology cause new plant species to evolve? Why are some plants pollinated by flies, some by bats, some by birds, and others by bees? How does a plant evolve to look like a rock? How can destroying lawns soothe the soul? This is a show about plants and plant habitat through the lens of natural selection and ecology, with a side of neurotic ranting, light humor, occasional profanity, & the perpetual search for the filthiest taqueria bathroom.
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